I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
