She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it penis luge time yet?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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