Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
