yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
