Already got asked if we're dating
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
