I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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