maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I love you.
Bad choice
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