HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
