Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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