I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize