Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My dick has a subreddit
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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