Pappa wants mamma naked
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize