He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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