So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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