i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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