Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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