Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
