I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
