'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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