So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this just has baby written all over it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
