Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize