If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
