My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
