I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
