My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
