Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
