In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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