Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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