Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize