hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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