Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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