I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
