once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize