You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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