hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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