we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
