he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
