saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
