Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize