he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
