Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize