sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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