I love black thongs
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
