Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
