every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
