If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He did a backflip because drugs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize