I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
