GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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