That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
