dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
