if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
