Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
