I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
