I think my fart just growled at me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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