Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
