so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we're so committed to being not committed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
