You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
