woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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