Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your penis caused this!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
