I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize